Being Sober: A New High

“I have to say that this period has been a little strange for me. With almost every kind of feeling. Mixed feelings.

The first day, or more exactly, since the moment my father left and I realized I was here to stay, I started to doubt myself: “Why did I do this thing to myself?”

Then I went through the withdrawal part of the program and, I have to tell you, even though it was not easy, I made it through it without too much discomfort. It would have been way worse if I had done it cold turkey!

Another thing that made me nervous was the kindness of the people around me. I used to think cynically:

“This cannot be true. Who are these people who always want to help me, who are always smiling, doing things, being active? Is this for real?

“I don’t deserve this.“

But with the passing of time, I was “infected.”

You can not be negative in a place like this!

Of course, this new, good feeling started when my body started to regain energy. From this point on, everything started to take color. I started noticing things, enjoying nature, laughing and my sleep started to be better and better. For example the last 3-4 days I feel rested in the mornings. I have good vibes, feeling active, wanting to do things—not just lying in bed, like the first week.

Now everything is different. I am like a new person. Or my old self—my real personality. And you know what’s strange? That being sober seems like a new high. I had forgotten a lot of things. I remember, maybe on the 10th day, I started to really feel my face. I could feel every muscle. And a very important thing that I can see the difference in is my esteem.

I used to feel worthless and like I only deserved bad things.

But here, talking with people, I realized I am looking forward to right some wrongs and to take back the wheel of my life.

Things are looking good and I am very pumped for the next step.”

O.P.—Narconon Balkan Student