3 Months After Narconon

 

I never in my wildest dreams thought my life would turn out like this.

Some of you may have read my success stories signed "R.V." Yes, that's me. I am Renata Vlasevska.

I was born in Bitola, Macedonia, and left to live in the United States when I was 13. I then came to Narconon Balkan when I turned 35 years old. My story begins when I was struggling with drugs in my 20s. With the help of my family, I was able to wean myself off of the drugs, because in my mind, street drugs were “bad” for me, not realizing that alcohol and everything that was legal was even worse. By my 31st birthday, things started to spiral out of control; my drinking was taking over my life, and my reality was, “Well, I live in hell now; let me get comfortable.”

Something one day snapped in me, and a strength I had deep within me took over—a hunger for life, for love, for pain, for connection with humanity and nature, a hunger to live a real life. I recognized a sympathy for people who I saw living in a vegetative state, hooked on machines in the hospital, yet I pretty much lived the same way; my machine was just available in the liquor store or at a bar, or even at my friend's house. I couldn’t function without it. Maybe it’s a bad comparison, but it’s the only way to explain it. I felt nothing—no pain, no remorse, no embarrassment, no love, no happiness. Just numbness, a flatline, and if I continued like that, it wouldn’t have been too long before it was a real flatline.

I got to Narconon and did the program to the best of my abilities. I pushed as hard as I could even when I thought I couldn’t push any harder. I surprised myself with myself. I started to believe in myself again. I started to see my strength physically and mentally. As time went on, I became so proud of the person that I was becoming; it felt familiar. I started to recognize my old self, I started to recognize all the lectures and conversations my parents had with me, all the valuable things they had said to me, and how they tried to teach me how to live my life. These lessons were all buried deep in me, and these ideas started to pour out of me.

“Within 3 months, not only had I become accustomed to the outside world, I had no problem doing the same for a new culture, new laws, and I even got a job for the first time in Macedonia, and let me tell you, I’m probably the only person in my company
that enjoys going to work.”

I completed Narconon such a strong person, with such a strong confront for what life brings. I still get amazed every day. When I finished the program, I lived in Skopje, in a town where I knew 1 person. Within 3 months, not only had I become accustomed to the outside world, I had no problem doing the same for a new culture, new laws, and I even got a job for the first time in Macedonia, and let me tell you, I’m probably the only person in my company that enjoys going to work.

All the problems that looked like they would never have a solution before, now look like a joke. Everything that comes my way, that to everyone else seems like it’s the end of the world, to me…? I thrive on it; I always say to life, “That’s all you got?” There is nothing that I can’t overcome. The pure goodness and genuine care that effortlessly comes out of me leaves people astonished; I feel that's very rare. It’s fascinating how many people think that not having feelings and being the "baddest" is the way to live life. I know; I was one of them. Now I see being kind is the way of life, helping is the way of life, and caring is the way of life, and it will be returned to you in so many unexpected ways.

When I tell people I meet that I was an addict and that I did a rehab program, and I talk about Narconon, they stare at me like I fell from Mars. I thought to myself, "Why?" So, I got to thinking:

A woman admitting to having an addiction and getting help is a stigma, especially in the Balkans. It’s very rare.

How I talk, how I act, how I look, how I carry a conversation—all that has changed so much in me that my past didn’t leave a trace that it had ever existed.

I’m an American citizen who stayed to live in Macedonia. Yes, the place where I live doesn’t matter; in geographical, financial, mental, cultural, or any other term, it doesn’t affect me. I have so much confidence and drive that I will thrive anywhere. I do not let my environment control me. I am in control.

“I was shocked and surprised at how easily I handled life after Narconon. Nothing is impossible, even if in the moment
it seems like it.”

How does this story end? I have started to live my best life at 36. I have an amazing relationship. My family is very proud of the woman I became, and I am very proud of the woman I became. I wake up happy in the morning, I go to work happy, and I share my positivity, knowledge, and story with everyone I meet. Most of all, I was shocked and surprised at how easily I handled life after Narconon. Nothing is impossible, even if in the moment it seems like it. I will forever be grateful to the program, to the staff, and to the friends that I made.

Maybe not all stories have a happy ending, but if you work hard enough and ask for help, you don’t give the chances of life the right to decide your ending for you.

Renata V., Graduate of Narconon Balkan